Please don't let me be carded

Today is Wednesday and once again I must face that moral dilemma ... should I accept the senior citizen discount at the grocery store?

Each week I grocery shop on Wednesday morning because by then I know whether or not Grant and Lila will be coming to dinner that night. That has been the number one perk of moving to Nashville ... our once a week dinners together. Wednesday also happens to be Senior Citizen Discount Day at the grocery, the day the elderly (those just a couple of years older than I) are honored with a five percent discount.

I have never "asked" for the senior citizen discount because I am not "of age," but have been pleasantly surprised when it is "assumed." I find that it is "assumed" more often when I "forget" to shave. I also find it is "assumed" when I am closer to needing a haircut and the gray is a little longer. If I am well shaven and groomed on a Wednesday, then I generally use the word "retired" in my conversation with cashier. I like the assumption the cashier makes. It would be rude of me to point out the error of their assumption.

I must have looked particularly ancient last Wednesday because not only did I get the discount, but the bag girl walked me to my car, loaded my groceries and opened and closed my car door for me. I felt feeble. I think I went home and took a nap.

Now, at the Nashville golf courses I always ask for the senior citizen discount because it is clearly posted that anyone over the age of 55 is a "senior." I don't want anyone to make an improper assumption that I might not be a "senior." I also use the fact that I receive the senior citizen rate as justification to play from the "gold tees" ... a justification that has improved my scores a great deal and made me slightly more competitive with Grant.

I have also started ordering off the senior citizen menu. Most restaurants don't post a senior citizen age. They allow the customer to determine if they are senior citizens or not, and I figure if I am a senior citizen golfer than I am probably also a senior citizen diner .... even if I may or may not be a senior citizen grocery shopper.

The only place I may have wrongly uttered the words "senior citizen discount, please" is at the movie theater. One local chain says a senior is anyone over the age of 55. Another says it is 60. Those of us in my age bracket often get "confused" about which theater chain we happen to be frequenting, so I may have "accidentally" aged a couple of years when in a ticket line. I am getting hard of hearing, so if I am not getting the full benefit of the movie dialogue I shouldn't have to pay full price, should I?

Oh well, it is time to go to the grocery store. I guess I don't have time to shave.